poetry and vignettes

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don`t know why I wrote this

Posted by jan oskar hansen on September 14, 2018 at 2:15 AM Comments comments (0)

I don`t know why I wrote this


You must remember this, a kiss

is not enough I have to pay the maid

as time goes by.

Tomorrow she will be back and do my den

it`s full dust flying in the breeze like half-forgotten dreams

and projects never done.

You must remember this I was not good at dusting shelves

this because today I feel old

but tomorrow I will be like Tarzan and not believe

that life will ever end.



quiet despair

Posted by jan oskar hansen on September 14, 2018 at 1:00 AM Comments comments (0)

Quiet despair

getting up

Sitting down,

We are leaving tomorrow

open a bottle of beer

It ain`t cold

The fridge is defrosting

I`m old.

Have lived for 30 years

Am I excepted?

to be joyful?

Big flat

wooden flooring

I should protest

be a stubborn mule

seven floor up

not a mule in sight

I can lose the car keys

say I will arrive later.

Just now I adopted a cat

it can`t come

I feel sorrowful

cried for no reason

this afternoon,

they say I`m a fool

I agree, but know

I`m right.


old soldiers cafe

Posted by jan oskar hansen on September 13, 2018 at 3:25 AM Comments comments (0)

The old soldiers Café


We went to my favoured restaurant it is no longer so,

on a table near us sat a group of Ukrainians eating plenty

of meat with sausage and the server said there was no more left

so we lunched on a dish I wasn`t keen on.

Eight of them men with brutal faces and as the wine flowed

they spoke about the war and killing Russians.

Two of them looked like assassins, those with long knives

who kill silently in the night, eating the food I wanted.

My wife said I was fantasising they were workmen who

had left their country to seek employment elsewhere I was not sure.

My food didn’t look as good as theirs, so we left early and

I didn`t eat my food left the glass of wine untouched in a futile

attempt to show my dislike, but no one noticed.


the worst

Posted by jan oskar hansen on September 13, 2018 at 3:15 AM Comments comments (0)


The worst


The worst job I ever had

was on a rescue ship in the North Sea

in the winter time and we had to stay there

no matter how big the storm was.

Each shift was three weeks, and it was

exhausting not quite knowing if I was climbing

a wall or the deck.

It was often impossible to cook any food we

lived mostly on Irish stew or something that only needed one pan,

fighting to keep it on the stove.

Heading back to shore I swore never again,

but I was under contract and had to do three more battles with the sea.





Posted by jan oskar hansen on September 12, 2018 at 4:55 AM Comments comments (0)


I find I have written about rowing boats

hate them they are too close to the surface of the sea.

I always preferred to be on big ships

high above the water.

Sometimes in bad weather, the sea came surging on the deck

but had the politeness to disappear where it came from.

Once when the ship I was on was a fire in stormy Atlantic

The captain ordered everyone to go on the lifeboats

they all perished.

I sat in the potato cellar and pretended I was a potato.

The ship didn`t sink.

The fire died out by itself the sea calmed and

the captain who was a hero had stayed on his bridge,

was surprised to see me but not pleased my presence reminded

him he had given the wrong order.

I hate rowing boats, too near the sea where monsters live.


obituary of a cook

Posted by jan oskar hansen on September 11, 2018 at 4:00 AM Comments comments (0)

Obituary of a cook

A famous French cook has passed away

this is sad of course, but it shows how the world of catering

has changed character.

From an unshaven backroom man to a leader but only

a leader in his restaurant for cooks holds no other power.

I enjoyed that he once threw a plate of spaghetti

after Chef Ramsey for not making ravioli right, mind

with a master like that no wonder George Ramsey swears a lot.

But hang on a bit, if we elevate cooks to the status

of world leaders of great importance then we should stop

and think of the millions of women who cook for their

family and do so by being economical with their food so

it can be used the next day.

Of course, there are millions of women in our modern

society for whom the sight of a carrot or a potato leaves them flabbergasted,

but as the fairy tale says

need makes a naked woman knit a blouse.


high tech

Posted by jan oskar hansen on September 10, 2018 at 4:05 AM Comments comments (0)

High Tech

In the Silicon Valley the sit the tsars of high tech

producing stuff, you didn`t know you needed

They know the Armageddon is coming but try

not to stop it, as it will obstruct their profit.

When the world resources are depleted and

nuclear war beckons, they are too busy to find

a secure place to survive the upcoming wars.

With all their intelligence combined, they see

not the indefinite human mind, their survival

will be a vast nothingness





the odd bird

Posted by jan oskar hansen on September 9, 2018 at 1:40 AM Comments comments (0)

An Odd Bird

The seagull and I were flying over the Andes.

the mountain was brown, and we saw a lake green

as an emerald ring on an Irish girl`s finger.

Let’s fly down and have a bath I said, the gull said

the lake was poisonous, so we continued on our way

to the pampas of Argentine.

Landed on a jade green patch of the land

it was then the seagull confessed it suffered

from hydrophobia, it was, therefore, it had left

the Pacific Ocean and avoid derision from birds

that loved the sea and diving for fish.

But a seabird is supposed to like fish.

Who says, the gull angrily uttered I like cooked

meat with boiled potatoes, anything wrong with that!

we walked to an inn, that is the bird sat on my

shoulder, had lamb chops with mint sauce, are you not

surprised to see a bird in here, I asked the landlord,

no not at all it often comes in here it is

the first time I have seen it with a human.


about me isn't it all

Posted by jan oskar hansen on September 8, 2018 at 3:45 AM Comments comments (0)

About me (isn`t it all)


Old age is travel towards death, and I spend

the waiting time writing what I call alternative poetry

as I`m not fond of swanky poems full of adjectives.

I have published many books of poetry on the Amazon

and about 30 E-books each book is about thirty pages

consist of poetry and opinion and read by no one.

I have a catering education but what I know comes

from reading massive amounts of books and

newspapers, of a solitary figure, except my wife

have no friend (they are all dead) should she go

before my life would be no worth living.

Every morning I sit pedalling away on my stationary bike,

try to get in an hour, but it is like going nowhere fast.

I comment on what I read in the Guardian and on twitter,

like to read George Galloway`s opinions, he is small

of stature, is a narcissist and should be careful not getting

to close to Russia, the bear has sharp claws.

I spend my time (if not wisely) by being active this because

boredom beckons when I have nothing to do.

In the evening I drink wine and fall asleep in front of the TV

I have always been a drinker, but dislike drunkenness.



Posted by jan oskar hansen on September 7, 2018 at 4:00 AM Comments comments (0)



I like Mondays

it starts hopefully


are a setback

then it goes


all the way

to bloody Sunday